A Growing Clarity
Something I am pierced by these days is the growing clarity that much of my life has been poured out for the wrong things. My alabaster jar dumped out on a curb that has no power to rise up and save me or bring any hope to my withered heart.
The quest for a beauty that won’t confess my age.
The hunt for the right filter on the best picture, so that I can post highlights of my life with pride.
The outfit that stamps me as acceptable and coins me as stylish.
The drive to perfect the performance of my children, so that I can add points to my motherhood score.
I mean, we’re being honest, right?
Truthfully, there are habits that are slowly killing us inside. I feel it. I see it in myself. I witness it in those around me.
Comparisons.
Bitterness.
Selfishness.
Pride.
Striving.
All of it breaks His heart. And He is not afraid to hurt our feelings and strip us bare so that our vision can open wide to the light and bring clarity to all the darkened spaces. He is jealous for possession of our hearts but will never push and demand His way to own them.
What He lays bare before us is all of who He is. Forgiveness. Peace. Hope. Love. Joy. What we really crave is more of Him. What we are really desperate for is Him.
Jesus makes everything else come into focus.
There is growing clarity that has taken root within my soul. It is rising to the surface and it is unrelenting. It has become the standard and it demands everything I have, everything I’ve been, everything I will ever be.
And I’m ok with that. I’ve seen too much to stay the same and I’ve been overhauled by a grace that can’t be kept to myself.
Yeah, I’m ok with that.
I don’t want to live like I’m starving, like I can’t get enough of what really has always been enough. He has given and forgiven, promised and provided all that I need. So why am I working so hard to find what my heart desires in every other space but His?
Don’t you crave a freedom that can’t be taken away? Don’t you want a hope that has eternity in its sights? I do. Yes! I sure do. And if you have that freedom and hope, then let’s start living like we own it, shall we? Living our lives in such a way that others don’t have to guess which side we’re on.
Let’s start living like we’re feasting.
The table is set and we’ve been invited to the feast. Let’s stop pretending we’re not hungry and start living in the Presence and promises that belong to us.
The song I want to share with you today is a couple years old, actually, but I just discovered it. It is simple. It is beautiful. It is from Centric Worship and is called, “All I Want Is Jesus,” led by Jonathan Lee. As you listen, I pray your heart would be wooed into a deeper realization that He is always enough.
With joy for the journey,
Sarah
