You Are Not Alone

I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. It was too big…and it was desperately not enough.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I didn’t even recognize the face that stared back at me in the mirror. Not even a little bit.

Amidst piles of laundry, dishes, and LEGOs I had somehow misplaced my heart, my solid ground. With three kids under the age of five and what looked like a long and lonely road of diapers, depression, and deployments ahead of me, I wasn’t completely sure where to look. Or if I would even find it.

I felt alone.

My husband had been called back into the military, we had moved our home and our growing family more times than I wanted to count, and I found myself ushered along a path that I wasn’t sure how to navigate anymore. All the pretty pictures I had built in my mind for how my life was going to look and feel had turned upside down.

I wanted to trust that it would somehow all work out, that somehow He would show me how to be more courageous than I felt.

I felt lost.

I felt survival was the best I could hope for.

I felt alone.

But the truth is that what I felt, despite the cutting raw and intimacy of it, did not encompass the whole canvas of what God was painting then…or even what He is painting now. And though my aloneness felt authentic, it wasn’t the truth.

“I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:9-10 NIV

And I can’t help but be struck with the similarity of the now and then. How I wake to that same reflection in the mirror and the same hunger deep within my soul to know that I am not alone, that it is all really going to be ok (even if it all doesn’t “feel” ok), and that He will always, always be with me, no matter what the road ahead requires.

Can you relate?

If you are reading this today and find yourself taking a slow, deep breath, let me reassure you with what He is reassuring me:

He is with us.

And that is an intimate kind of “with,” beloved. He sees you; all of who you are is ever before Him. Your name (and mine) is engraved upon His hand.

This intimacy literally carries us into the good plans He has for us. And this connection to our Heavenly Father contains the hope of an unending grip that holds us and invites us to join Him in a grander vision than our courage would ever seem to warrant.

When we realize that the One who conquered sin and death, tore the veil that separated us from His Presence, and stands in victory also stands beside you and beside me, a new courage rises up from within places you didn’t know even belonged to you.

That’s what He does.

This Truth causes us to let go of the greatest lie (that we are on our own) to take hold of the grandest Truth – that the One who provides all we need has more than enough strength to share and grace to impart than we could ever exhaust.

I am not alone. He is with me.

You are not alone. He is with you.

The song I want to share with you this morning is “Psalm 139 (Far Too Wonderful)” off the Psalm II album by Shane and Shane. I confess that when I first heard this song, I was completely undone. Sung with the power and truth of this beloved psalm, this song beautifully displays the profound intimacy we have with our Heavenly Father.

So may we face that mirror this morning, with a smile on our face. When the mountains feel too big and we feel way too small, may we remember He who spoke to the wind and the waves speaks on our behalf. And when we feel alone, may we remember that He made our names permanent upon the very same hands that bore the nails for us.

You Are Not Alone