Keep Breathing: Life after Miscarrying

For this week’s Worship Wednesday Post, Jennifer Wake shares about life after miscarrying and how God helped her to keep breathing. If you’ve endured this painful loss, I pray you’ll find comfort in her words, God’s truth, and the beautiful song she shares at the end.

by Jennifer Wake

It’s that time of year again for me. Time to head to the doctor for my annual physical. I believe in getting physicals but I dread the questions.

I fill out the “questionnaire.” One of the questions brings up so much hurt I almost stop filling it out. “How many pregnancies?” I write the number six and my heart starts to ache because I know the next question. “How many live births?” or something like that. Different clinics change the wording but it still hurts. I write the number three.

All My Babies

I start praying. Praying over Timothy, Grace, and Christopher. My babies are with God. My babies I never got to hold. My babies….

The Lord brings Psalm 34:18 to my mind. “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” As I sit waiting to begin, the Lord refreshes me. I am brokenhearted but God brings me comfort.

The nurse reviews my answers. She clarifies that I “only” have three children. I want to scream “no I have six” instead I tell her the names and ages of my children here on earth. I don’t tell her about my other babies.

When I miscarried each of these precious children, I stuffed my hurt deep down. No one wanted to talk about what happened.

When I miscarried the third time, my neighbors rushed to help. My neighbors, who were military spouses, knew I was in pain. They rallied around me and took care of my 2-year-old and my husband.

Our Stories Ease the Pain Others Feel

I kept the secret of miscarrying for many years. I did not talk about it until after I went to counseling with my husband. That was when we named each baby and wrote a letter to them and to God. It helped heal my heart.

Timothy, Grace, and Christopher are part of our family. I now talk about them because they are part of my testimony. God has given me platforms to talk about them and he wants me to share my story to help women who have also miscarried.

The pain of childbirth is great. The pain of miscarriage is great and doesn’t fade quickly with time. God knew that by holding it in I would never grow. I am stronger because of my three heavenly babies.

God’s Word Comforts us in Life after Miscarrying

Miscarrying is hard but God can heal us. Three of God’s truths that help me heal after my miscarriages were:

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10 ESV)

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”

(Psalm 139:13 ESV)

“Count it all joy, my brother, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4 ESV)