Hearing God in your Marriage
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[/fusion_title][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container][fusion_builder_container background_color=”” background_image=”” background_parallax=”none” enable_mobile=”no” parallax_speed=”0.3″ background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” video_url=”” video_aspect_ratio=”16:9″ video_webm=”” video_mp4=”” video_ogv=”” video_preview_image=”” overlay_color=”” overlay_opacity=”0.5″ video_mute=”yes” video_loop=”yes” fade=”no” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” padding_top=”0px” padding_bottom=”0px” padding_left=”” padding_right=”” hundred_percent=”no” equal_height_columns=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” menu_anchor=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_imageframe lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” style_type=”none” hover_type=”none” bordercolor=”” bordersize=”0px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”left” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”” id=””] 
[/fusion_imageframe][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]God, Could You PLEASE Get My Husband to Listen to Me?
“Honey, will you take out the trash?”
Dead silence. Maybe he didn’t hear you over the TV.
“Honey (just a smidge louder) – tomorrow is trash day. Can you get the garbage?”
Nothing.
“Honey! (All soft tones removed so that he will definitely hear you). TAKE OUT THE TRASH!”[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][fusion_text]I don’t know about your household, but this approach seldom works in mine. Usually, my husband is willing to do the chore, but I’ve just finished cleaning up the kitchen and wiping down the counters and I have this one last thing to do before I can rest. So I want him to take the trash out when I want it done, which, unfortunately, is seldom when he is ready or willing to do it.
Now I have to figure out – do I just take it out myself, so I can go relax and watch that new episode I’m looking forward to? Do I leave it there and subtly let him know he’s being lazy? Or maybe, I get angry and really lay into him for all the times he’s let me down?
How well do I wait for my husband? How well do you?
Do you use this opportunity to practice being patient, gentle, kind?
But this is not a study about marriage communication – it’s about hearing from God in your marriage. So what’s the difference? Let’s imagine for a moment this same give and take struggle gets overlaid on your prayer life. Maybe you have been struggling with requesting something from God. Would it sound the same…
God, would you do this for me?
God, I know you know how this needs to get done. Could you please pay attention?
God! This is hopeless! If you won’t fix this, I’m just gonna take care of it myself.
And off you go to vent with a friend, or grab a self-help book, or find some solution that makes you feel better – for a moment. This very same solution leaves you temporarily relieved but ultimately, out of step with God and your husband.
Ultimately, God is showing us how to wait and trust. As wives we have the unique challenge to practice submission to God in a very real, very tangible way – being submissive to our husbands.
Now, before you go getting upset with this concept, please hang on a moment. I am the consummate independent, former Army, highly competitive gal. I want things to run my way just as much as the next person. But in my 30 year marriage, God has shown me a lot about the way I react to His voice through how I handle my husband.
I spent a long time shooting myself in the foot at home because I wanted to stand on equal ground with my husband. And certainly, scripturally, we are co-heirs of grace (1 Peter 3:7). But God didn’t make us the same. We weren’t the same in the Garden of Eden and we aren’t the same now.
In fact, in Ephesians 5: 22-23, it says the man is the head of the woman. I studied this passage while writing a Bible Study exploring this topic: Confessions of a Strong-Willed Wife, Journey through the Heart of Fear. The passage along with 1 Corinthians 11:3 talk about God being the head of Christ; Christ the head of every man; and man(husband) the head of his wife. From the bottom perspective, we sometimes feel (and experience) the frustration of not having things done when and how we want them. We feel disadvantaged. But from the top perspective, God is the head, covering and protecting His son; Jesus is covering and protecting man (some places it says ‘the church’) and man is covering and protecting his wife. He is also ultimately responsible for her.
So when I get tired of waiting for my husband to act on my timetable, I am actually trying to circumvent this God-given line of authority. And as I pointed out before, it may get immediate results, but 1 Peter 3 tells us that our husbands are won by our respectful behavior. Furthermore, the passage begins with four little words: “In the same way…” The chapter before it lays out the pattern of submission that God desires for all of humanity; people to government, slaves (workers) to masters (bosses), and ultimately Jesus to His Father, the one He could entrust.
It always comes back to trust.
And, in my case at least, the lack of trusting my husband – even in these minor areas – shows God what I think about His plan. Oh, I like it fine when things are working the way I think they should but I often “hear” from God, by way of my husband, that there is still much I need to learn about true submission. I usually don’t recognize it until we are bickering. The Lord is showing me that my independent spirit with my husband mirrors my tendency to add “in Jesus’ name” to the end of prayers that have MY will at the center.
Are you willing to try submission for 5 days?
(When we get it wrong, the key is to confess and repent, not give up. God is pleased with progress, he’s not looking for perfection ☺)
Daily Reflections:
Start every day by reading 1 Peter 3: 1-6
Day One: What does this passage tell us is “precious in the sight of God”? These are not merely feminine qualities – they are the words Jesus used to describe himself. Look up Matthew 11:28. Jesus is giving the recipe for rest, His rest, and says to learn from him how to receive it. What does verse 29 say to do? Think of one way today that you can apply these principles in your marriage and ask Jesus to help you yoke to him to achieve it.
Day Two: I hope that you found a way to practice gentleness. Do you know the Greek word for gentle or meek can be interpreted, “to keep one’s seat”? Often when we want something done – from God or from our husband – the most difficult aspect is to wait on the timing. As with my ‘take out the trash’ example, sometimes it’s the little things that trip us up. Today, can you practice waiting on the Lord by waiting on your husband? In your prayer time, ask God what it is at the heart of your striving. Read Isaiah 30:15 Write out what God promises to give you and apply them specifically to the area(s) that the Holy Spirit brought to your heart
Day Three: Does it annoy you when your husband points out a better way for you to do something? Do you have a ready response how he could improve too, rather than heed his advice? Today, practice receiving instruction. In Proverbs 18: 15 it states: “The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” It says over and over that the fool does not receive instruction but that a wise heart accepts correction. Ask the Lord today to help you have ears to hear your husband without offense.
Day Four: Did you have an opportunity to be “quick to hear and slow to speak” (James 1:19) yesterday? Again, this passage starts with a lead in, “So, then…” This refers to the first eighteen verses. Take time to meditate on this great piece of advice today. There is a purpose in our trials – even those silly ones with our spouse. What is it?
Buried in the 14th and 15th verse is the progression of temptation. Have you thought that not submitting is a temptation from your enemy? It feels like independence and standing up for your rights, but when we don’t follow God’s precepts, what is the result? Where do you rate yourself currently on obeying authority?
Day Five: “Do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” This is Peter’s final advice to wives in 1 Peter 3:6. Peter, you may recall, was the disciple who was quick to act on Jesus’ behalf; he stepped out of the boat and on to the water, went to the Mount of Transfiguration (where it says he was terribly frightened) and cut off the Roman soldier’s ear to protect the Lord. Peter learned that our human tendency often gets in the way of true discipleship. Doing what is right may look to the outside world as inaction, but Peter says not to let that scare us. He learned the hard way. What about you? What has been the hardest thing this week in submitting to God?
You know what I love about Peter? After defending, deserting and denying Christ, Jesus made a special visit to restore his friend. He dealt with Peter so tenderly and Peter went on (in Acts) to lead the new church.
Don’t ever let your enemy tell you that submission is a lost cause in our modern world.
Satan has always questioned God’s authority and planted that thought in mankind. From the earliest question in the garden, “Has God said…” through the trials in the wilderness that Jesus faced to deny God’s authority, to me and you in our marriages, questioning submission is his favorite bait.[/fusion_text][fusion_separator style_type=”single solid” top_margin=”” bottom_margin=”10px” sep_color=”” border_size=”” icon=”” icon_circle=”” icon_circle_color=”” width=”” alignment=”center” class=”” id=””/][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_6″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_imageframe lightbox=”no” gallery_id=”” lightbox_image=”” style_type=”none” hover_type=”none” bordercolor=”” bordersize=”0px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”none” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”” id=””] 
[/fusion_imageframe][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_3″ last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]Welcome to Monday Minute With God. A place to start the week right and tools to keep you in the Word all week long.
This month we will spend time reflecting on hearing God’s Guidance in four main areas:[/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_2″ last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” hover_type=”none” link=”” border_position=”all” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ animation_offset=”” class=”” id=””][fusion_text]This week’s author: author name here
Cynthia Thomas credits the military for drawing her to Christ: from a basic training conversion to attending PWOC in a German apartment in 1986, she continues to attend her local PWOC and loves the all-inclusive fellowship. Now one of the “retired” women, she stays active teaching PraiseMoves and serving on the local Garden Club board. She has written a bible study and launched a blog. You can find her at http://cynthiaczthomas.wix.
Work/Ministry/Marriage/Parenting
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